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Text Box:  Why Would God Do Such a Thing?!
ďWives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of the wife as Christ
is the head of His church, His body....Ē Ep 5:22
For years the principle of submission made me angry.   Iíve always believed that women are as smart as men, just as capable and maybe wiser.  I couldnít understand why God chose to make husbands head over wives!  I didnít think Iíd ever agree with God in this area.  I could understand the command to submit one to one another (Ep 5:21), but not to submit to my husband as to the Lord!
Then one day God reminded me that He is smarter than I am and that Iíve chosen to be His bondservant.    He got my attention!  I didnít like it, but I repented and began a painful journey of trying to be a submissive wife.   There were lots of times when I fell flat on my face.   And there were the times when I gave in to my husbandís wishes and it turned out to be the wrong thing.   Like buying a mattress that was so hard I couldnít sleep on it.    And putting a down payment on a house that I didnít like but my husband loved.   Fortunately, my husband is a considerate man and insisted that we return the mattress and back out of the house deal when he realized how I felt.  God worked it out so that the parties we were buying from were not hurt. The house sellers sold their home quickly at a higher price and we bought a larger, more expensive mattress.   I think God was pleased that I was trying!
There were mornings when I would decide Iíd be a submissive wife all day.  I would then try, to the point of irritation, to submit to my husbandís desires about everything.   It would become a classic case of ďWhere would you like to go?Ē, with the response,  ďI donít know, where would you like to go?Ē   We couldnít get anything decided.  Iíd get irritated because he wasnít taking on ďheadshipĒ and heíd become irritated because I wouldnít tell him what I wanted.  So that didnít work.
Then I came up with subjecting myself to his desires by serving him.  Actually, I felt that I did that most of the time anyway (wait on him, I mean.)!   I would just do it with more deference.  You might guess by now that deference is not my strong points!  For a short while, I felt and acted like a maid and not a wife, and my husband again did not respond well.  He didnít want me to be a maid.   He wanted a wife.   Then I began to get it, just a little bit.   Submission is not servitude.   One doesnít have to be subservient to be submissive.  So what does it mean to submit to oneís husband?   I still hadnít figured that out.
God is faithful and, if we persist, He will show us the way.   I still canít say I have this submission business down pat, but I am beginning to get it.  Iíd like to share the understanding Iíve gained with others who may be going through the same struggle Iíve had.  
I Ďll use the analogy of a committee.   Every committee has a head person who is responsible to make sure that each committee member is heard and that the best solution is reached.   A committee memberís role is to present facts, truth and opinions and to help the leader reach a successful conclusion.   So now I look upon my husband and me as a committee of two.   I can fully express my concerns, ideas and desires - as can he.  In the process, we are to submit one to another and hear each other out.   If we donít agree, he makes the final decision as the head of our committee.   Because he loves me, I know he will choose what he considers absolutely to be the best decision for both of us.  
I now understand that God is not setting up men as superior to women.  We are equal in all ways, except my husband has the responsibility to resolve any differences after we have evaluated our options together.  His job is to make good life choices for us, and he is the one who will answer to God for his choices.  My job is to help him reach the best conclusion and to support him in his decision, even when I donít like it.   I can do that.   Hmmm!  Supporting when I donít like it Ė could that be as submitting unto the Lord! 
Okay, I admit it.  God was right all along!

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